top of page

Can I just be real for a sec?

It’s 2am, I just got in bed and I just needed to get this out. I was taking a shower and of course, all of the things that happened over the course of the week flooded my mind and I began to beat myself up about all of the times I lost my temper, the nights I was too tired to even think about cooking dinner, the times I chose to be on my phone instead of playing with my kids, the list could go on and on. I had to stop myself and said “Okay if I could grade myself for my ‘performance’ this week what grade would I give myself?” I thought about it and would probably say, low C, maybe. The next thought I had was, “Okay, now think of all of the things you got ‘right’ this week.”

The first thing that popped into my mind was that I kept my kids safe and alive, major win, with two young boys, that’s a success. I instantly began to cry.

Now - I am very emotional and emotionally driven, but I do not cry often. I honestly wish I allowed myself to cry more often, and I’m working on that, starting tonight or this morning? It’s 2am...

Anyways - I began to cry and go down the list of all of the great things that happened this week and had to tell myself, “YOU DID THAT!”

WHY is it so hard for us to pat ourselves on the back when we do anything good or when we simply just get it right. It is so easy for me to destroy myself with all of the things I got wrong instead of acknowledging those moments and highlighting the moments that I did something for my family or myself that brought forth life. Those moments when I chose to push past how I was feeling and did something fun with my kids or something as simple as making their favorite snack.

As I look back over the last 11 months of being home, I have had more moments of self sabotage than moments of uplifting myself and speaking life into myself as a mother. This transition has been HARD, then throw in moving across the country and pregnancy on top of that. Life for me has not been easy lately, but I refuse to give up, and I hope and pray that you too continue to press on!

I am now in the final weeks of pregnancy (surprise!) and about to welcome a new precious life into this world and I refuse to let myself get in the way of me enjoying this new chapter of motherhood that I am stepping into. While we have not yet shared the gender nor name of our newest baby, part of baby’s name means healer or one who brings healing, and it has been my prayer that this new life brings healing to whoever they meet, starting with me and I hope you will also begin a journey of healing for yourself, whatever that looks like for you!

I said all of this to say, we all have our days or weeks or months, that feel like we just cannot get a single thing right. That’s okay. You are not alone. There is so much of people that you do not see and while it is everyone’s choice to choose what to and what not to share with others, I feel that it is important that we, as mothers, share our experiences and our own struggles because it is in sharing that healing can take place (and you know you’re not the only one feeling like they’re going insane)!

Thank you for reading, if you feel comfortable you are more than welcome to share your own story/experiences in the comments below! Sending hugs to you all ❤️

117 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
Post: Blog2 Post
bottom of page